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You broke our mustard's ankles! Please expect longer than usual lead time on mustard purchases.  You broke our mustard's ankles! Please expect longer than usual lead time on mustard purchases.  You broke our mustard's ankles! Please expect longer than usual lead time on mustard purchases.  You broke our mustard's ankles! Please expect longer than usual lead time on mustard purchases.  You broke our mustard's ankles! Please expect longer than usual lead time on mustard purchases.  You broke our mustard's ankles! Please expect longer than usual lead time on mustard purchases.  You broke our mustard's ankles! Please expect longer than usual lead time on mustard purchases.  You broke our mustard's ankles! Please expect longer than usual lead time on mustard purchases.  You broke our mustard's ankles! Please expect longer than usual lead time on mustard purchases.  

Bijan Mustardson Bijan Mustardson

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  • Mustard Fun

Please expect longer than usual lead time on mustard purchases. Order today to be put in the mustard queue!

  • Week 3 Game Bottle

    Week 3 Game Bottle

    This is the bottle from my Week 3 game against the Detroit Lions. It has my game stats, the date, and my autograph. It’s a one-of-a-kind bottle unless you count the game bottles from Week 1 and Week 2. Those are slightly different though, since they have different stats and different dates. They do all have the same dijon mustard though.
    Regular price
    $150.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • 2 Mustards

    2 Mustards

    2 bottles of my signature gourmet dijon mustard. It’s smooth and rich with a Texas kick. And best served among hot dogs, burgers, pretzels, and touchdowns.
    Regular price
    $15.90
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • 4 Mustards

    4 Mustards

    4 bottles of my signature gourmet dijon mustard. It’s smooth and rich with a Texas kick. And best served among hot dogs, burgers, pretzels, and touchdowns.
    Regular price
    $31.50
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Week 2 Game Bottle

    Week 2 Game Bottle

    The bottle from my Week 2 game against the Green Bay Packers. It has my game stats, the date, and my autograph. I also wrote 1of1 on the bottle because it’s the only one that exists. They’ll be another Game Bottle for my game next week, but it won’t be the same as this one. Unless of course I achieve the exact same rushing and receiving statistics. And even then, the date will be different. Anyway, that was my reasoning for adding 1of1 in there.
    Regular price
    $150.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • Week 1 Game Bottle

    Week 1 Game Bottle

    The bottle from my Week 1 game against the Carolina Panthers. It has my game stats, the date, and my autograph. It would typically be special anyway, but this one’s extra special because it’s from my rookie season. And extra more special because it’s from my first-ever NFL game. Like I said, every game bottle is special, but this one is the specialest. Not specialist, as in like a doctor. Specialest, as in most special.
    Regular price
    $150.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • Rookie Bottle

    Rookie Bottle

    A limited-edition bottle of my gourmet dijon mustard. Enjoy with your tastebuds, or display on your shelf. Either way, goes best with touchdowns.
    Regular price
    $50.00
    Unit price
    /  per 

...back on January 30th of 2002, when Bijan Robinson was born in a hospital by a doctor. Two things occurred to Bijan instantly upon being born. One, that the world is bright and lights can hurt your eyes when you’ve never seen them before. And two, that his purpose in this world would be to score touchdowns. And score touchdowns Bijan did.

Throughout his formative years, Bijan scored touchdowns everywhere, mostly on the football field via football. By 2022, Bijan had scored touchdowns in every way, shape, and form. Running and receiving. Stiff arming and juking. Even occasionally passing. The only place he hadn’t scored a touchdown was his taste buds.

So Bijan did what everyone expected Bijan to do: Create his own gourmet dijon mustard and call it Bijan Mustardson. With the help of top-quality chefs, Bijan made a mustard that was so good, it tasted like a touchdown. It was then he knew, pending production timelines, mouth touchdowns for everyone would be a mustard-purchase away.

In August of 2022, right before football season, purely by happenstance, Bijan Mustardson hit shelves. And the rest is history. But also the future. Mostly the future.

  • Mustard Tour Tee

    Mustard Tour Tee

    My Bijan Mustardson Mustard Tour is here! It really works out that the dates and cities just happen to coincide with me and the Atlanta Falcons playing football. So glad that everything lined up. Get this shirt to commemorate my Mustard Tour today!
    Regular price
    $42.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Official Bijan Tee

    Official Bijan Tee

    This is an Official Bijan Mustardson shirt. You can tell because it says so right on the back in an Official Bijan Mustardson design. So make your Official purchase today with confidence.
    Regular price
    $24.99
    Sale price
    $32.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Official Dirty Birds Hat

    Official Dirty Birds Hat

    Since most Falcons fans are new to my mustard, I made sure this hat featured the official Bijan Mustardson slogan and brand name. It also makes it super easy if you forget the slogan or brand name in the future. Then all you have to do is look at your hat. So buy one today and never forget!
    Regular price
    $25.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Official Hat

    Official Hat

    This hat features the official Bijan Mustardson slogan and brand name. Which is helpful if you ever forget the slogan or brand name. Then all you have to do is look at your hat.
    Regular price
    $25.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Everyday Touchdowns Hat

    Everyday Touchdowns Hat

    In football, touchdowns are only possible once a week. But with Bijan Mustardson, touchdowns are possible every second of every day. That’s just one of the differences between mustard and football. Other differences would be lots of grass and necessary helmet-wearing. But as you can see, the only thing this hat mentions is the touchdowns thing.
    Regular price
    $35.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Stiff Arm Hat

    Stiff Arm Hat

    As you can see me doing here, the stiff arm is a move often used by running backs. Other positions can do stiff arms it too. Usually defensive players don't do it much though.
    Regular price
    $35.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Everyday Touchdowns Koozie

    Everyday Touchdowns Koozie

    My Everyday Touchdowns Koozie is made from a top-quality neoprene material. It also features a reminder about what to do with your hot dogs and burgers and other foods, just in case you draw a blank at that crucial pre-mustard moment.
    Regular price
    $7.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • Mouth Ankles Koozie

    Mouth Ankles Koozie

    If your mouth’s ankles have been broken by the smooth and rich taste of Bijan Mustardson, don’t wait! Buy this koozie today. And if your mouth’s ankles haven’t been broken yet, still buy this koozie today anyway.
    Regular price
    $7.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Signature Koozie

    Signature Koozie

    This koozie is meant for a beverage, not a bottle of Bijan Mustardson. Though a bottle of Bijan Mustardson does fit in it. (I tried.) However it’s primarily meant for a beverage. But really go ahead and use it any way you want. Creativity is power.
    Regular price
    $5.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • Stiff Arm Tee

    Stiff Arm Tee

    If someone's ever coming for your mustard, a stiff arm is one way to deter them. Though it also helps if you run away very fast. If I had to choose, I'd recommend doing both.
    Regular price
    $24.99
    Sale price
    $32.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Football Tee

    Football Tee

    Since both the front and back of this shirt are pretty nice, it would be hard to pick just one. But luckily, both the front and back come with every shirt. No hard decisions necessary when purchasing this.
    Regular price
    $32.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Mustard Pennant

    Mustard Pennant

    Being a fan can be really fun. Especially if you’re a fan of a small-batch dijon mustard made by a football running back who also catches the ball very well and is really more of an all-around offensive player who can beat defenses in a lot of different ways. If that sounds like you, this mustard pennant is a fun way to show your fandom.
    Regular price
    $28.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Crop Jersey Tee

    Crop Jersey Tee

    Sometimes I show some midriff on the football field during games. And now you can too! But not on the football field during games. If you tried to go on the field then, you’d probably be chased down by security and escorted out of the stadium.
    Regular price
    $19.99
    Sale price
    $30.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • Video Game Tee

    Video Game Tee

    I wonder what my stiff arm rating would be in a video game. Hopefully the rating committee takes this shirt into account. Seeing as I stiff armed the defender completely off the printable area and all.
    Regular price
    $24.99
    Sale price
    $32.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Bijan No. 5 Gourmet Candle

    Bijan No. 5 Gourmet Candle

    BIJAN No. 5 is in no way affiliated with the luxury fragrance brand that rhymes with SHAMEL, or any of its subsidiaries. If you are one of their legal representatives and wish to take judicial action against Bijan Mustardson, please contact us at madeupemailaddress@bijanmustardson.com and we’ll get back to you within 3 to 5 business years. In the meantime, feel free to purchase this delicious candle and enjoy with your nose.
    Regular price
    From $22.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Mustard Smuggler

    Mustard Smuggler

    Fill with Bijan Mustardson and conceal to the best of your ability when entering stadiums and other condiment-forbidden events.
    Regular price
    $5.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • OU Tee

    OU Tee

    Some things in life are inevitable. Death, taxes, and Texas mustard being far superior to Oklahoma mustard. It’s not Oklahoma mustard’s fault though. Texas mustard is just a lot better tasting and also better at getting in the end zone for touchdowns on the football field. Buy this factually accurate shirt today!
    Regular price
    $25.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Official Draft Party Shirt

    Official Draft Party Shirt

    The Official Shirt from my Official NFL Draft Party. Available only while supplies last. Officially! Unisex. 100% Cotton. 6.5oz.
    Regular price
    $29.99
    Sale price
    $38.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Official Draft Party Stein

    Official Draft Party Stein

    Remember the best 2023 NFL Draft party every time you drink not mustard from this not mustard stein. Limited inventory. Available while supplies last!
    Regular price
    $14.99
    Sale price
    $35.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Official Draft Party Plastic Stein

    Official Draft Party Plastic Stein

    Remember the best 2023 NFL Draft party every time you drink your drink of choice from this commemorative stein. Limited inventory. Available while supplies last!
    Regular price
    $7.99
    Sale price
    $15.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Video Game Kids Tee

    Video Game Kids Tee

    The first step in any young football running back’s journey is to find a role model. Then after you buy a really comfortable, video-game inspired shirt from your role model’s mustard brand’s merch shop, you’ve got to work really hard. Then, you may just become a really good football running back like your role model. Those are the logical steps at least.
    Regular price
    $21.00
    Sale price
    $28.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Cursive Kids Tee

    Cursive Kids Tee

    Writing in cursive is a pretty hard. And it’s even harder when your writing instrument is a bottle of gourmet dijon mustard. So kids, next time you’re learning cursive in school, wear this shirt and be glad you’re writing with a pencil and not a bottle of Bijan Mustardson.
    Regular price
    $21.00
    Sale price
    $28.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Bijan Mustardstickers

    Bijan Mustardstickers

    Unlike Bijan Mustardson, Bijan Mustardstickers come in a pack of 3 and are not edible. Seriously, they’re not delicious at all. Please do not try to eat the stickers. This isn’t a joke. It's a pack of stickers.
    Regular price
    $5.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • More Bijan Mustardstickers

    More Bijan Mustardstickers

    Please refer to the description for Bijan Mustardstickers. It applies to these too.
    Regular price
    $6.50
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • Mouth Touchdown Sticker

    Mouth Touchdown Sticker

    Bijan Mustardson tastes like a touchdown in your mouth. You can find out for yourself by either tasting it, or believing this sticker. Tasting the mustard is good, but believing this sticker is a fine choice as well.
    Regular price
    $2.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Hot Dog Sticker

    Hot Dog Sticker

    When in doubt, put some Bijan Mustardson on it. And when really in doubt, write out my name in mustard on it. It’ll taste the same, but you’ll get added satisfaction from the penmanship.
    Regular price
    $2.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • MEGAPHONE STICKER

    MEGAPHONE STICKER

    SORRY THIS IS SO LOUD, BUT I'M NOT SURE HOW TO TURN THE VOLUME DOWN ON THIS MEGAPHONE STICKER. IF YOU'RE ABLE TO LOCATE THE VOLUME CONTROLS PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL.
    Regular price
    $2.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Trading Card Sticker

    Trading Card Sticker

    Some people have said this trading card is a sticker because of its adhesive backing. But it looks like a trading card, and it’s shaped like a trading card, so I tend to think it's a trading card. There's also the possibility that it's something else entirely though.
    Regular price
    $2.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Mr. Mustardsticker

    Mr. Mustardsticker

    Hey, this is Mr. Mustardsticker. Bijan let me write this myself but I'm not sure exactly what to put. I'm a top-quality sticker though, just not very good at writing.
    Regular price
    $2.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Football Sticker

    Football Sticker

    People always ask about the icon that says Mustardson. Is it a bratwurst? Or a sausage? Or maybe something else? I can’t legally reveal the answer, but just know that all three of those are very good guesses.
    Regular price
    $2.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Flag Sticker

    Flag Sticker

    Please note this flag is on a sticker, so it doesn’t flap in the wind as much as a true flag would. If you're looking for a flag that flaps, there are probably better options.
    Regular price
    $2.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Classic Pennant

    Classic Pennant

    There’s something nostalgic about a classic pennant. It could be the script font, but it could also be something else. Most likely it’s the script font though. That's clearly where the magic is here.
    Regular price
    $25.00
    Unit price
    /  per 

Can I email you when I make new merch?

Mustard Shop

Please expect longer than usual lead time on mustard purchases. Order today to be put in the mustard queue!

  • Week 3 Game Bottle

    Week 3 Game Bottle

    This is the bottle from my Week 3 game against the Detroit Lions. It has my game stats, the date, and my autograph. It’s a one-of-a-kind bottle unless you count the game bottles from Week 1 and Week 2. Those are slightly different though, since they have different stats and different dates. They do all have the same dijon mustard though.
    Regular price
    $150.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • 2 Mustards

    2 Mustards

    2 bottles of my signature gourmet dijon mustard. It’s smooth and rich with a Texas kick. And best served among hot dogs, burgers, pretzels, and touchdowns.
    Regular price
    $15.90
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • 4 Mustards

    4 Mustards

    4 bottles of my signature gourmet dijon mustard. It’s smooth and rich with a Texas kick. And best served among hot dogs, burgers, pretzels, and touchdowns.
    Regular price
    $31.50
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Week 2 Game Bottle

    Week 2 Game Bottle

    The bottle from my Week 2 game against the Green Bay Packers. It has my game stats, the date, and my autograph. I also wrote 1of1 on the bottle because it’s the only one that exists. They’ll be another Game Bottle for my game next week, but it won’t be the same as this one. Unless of course I achieve the exact same rushing and receiving statistics. And even then, the date will be different. Anyway, that was my reasoning for adding 1of1 in there.
    Regular price
    $150.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • Week 1 Game Bottle

    Week 1 Game Bottle

    The bottle from my Week 1 game against the Carolina Panthers. It has my game stats, the date, and my autograph. It would typically be special anyway, but this one’s extra special because it’s from my rookie season. And extra more special because it’s from my first-ever NFL game. Like I said, every game bottle is special, but this one is the specialest. Not specialist, as in like a doctor. Specialest, as in most special.
    Regular price
    $150.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • Rookie Bottle

    Rookie Bottle

    A limited-edition bottle of my gourmet dijon mustard. Enjoy with your tastebuds, or display on your shelf. Either way, goes best with touchdowns.
    Regular price
    $50.00
    Unit price
    /  per 

Mustard Story

...back on January 30th of 2002, when Bijan Robinson was born in a hospital by a doctor. Two things occurred to Bijan instantly upon being born. One, that the world is bright and lights can hurt your eyes when you’ve never seen them before. And two, that his purpose in this world would be to score touchdowns. And score touchdowns Bijan did.

Throughout his formative years, Bijan scored touchdowns everywhere, mostly on the football field via football. By 2022, Bijan had scored touchdowns in every way, shape, and form. Running and receiving. Stiff arming and juking. Even occasionally passing. The only place he hadn’t scored a touchdown was his taste buds.

So Bijan did what everyone expected Bijan to do: Create his own gourmet dijon mustard and call it Bijan Mustardson. With the help of top-quality chefs, Bijan made a mustard that was so good, it tasted like a touchdown. It was then he knew, pending production timelines, mouth touchdowns for everyone would be a mustard-purchase away.

In August of 2022, right before football season, purely by happenstance, Bijan Mustardson hit shelves. And the rest is history. But also the future. Mostly the future.

Mustard Merch

  • Mustard Tour Tee

    Mustard Tour Tee

    My Bijan Mustardson Mustard Tour is here! It really works out that the dates and cities just happen to coincide with me and the Atlanta Falcons playing football. So glad that everything lined up. Get this shirt to commemorate my Mustard Tour today!
    Regular price
    $42.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Official Bijan Tee

    Official Bijan Tee

    This is an Official Bijan Mustardson shirt. You can tell because it says so right on the back in an Official Bijan Mustardson design. So make your Official purchase today with confidence.
    Regular price
    $24.99
    Sale price
    $32.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Official Dirty Birds Hat

    Official Dirty Birds Hat

    Since most Falcons fans are new to my mustard, I made sure this hat featured the official Bijan Mustardson slogan and brand name. It also makes it super easy if you forget the slogan or brand name in the future. Then all you have to do is look at your hat. So buy one today and never forget!
    Regular price
    $25.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Official Hat

    Official Hat

    This hat features the official Bijan Mustardson slogan and brand name. Which is helpful if you ever forget the slogan or brand name. Then all you have to do is look at your hat.
    Regular price
    $25.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Everyday Touchdowns Hat

    Everyday Touchdowns Hat

    In football, touchdowns are only possible once a week. But with Bijan Mustardson, touchdowns are possible every second of every day. That’s just one of the differences between mustard and football. Other differences would be lots of grass and necessary helmet-wearing. But as you can see, the only thing this hat mentions is the touchdowns thing.
    Regular price
    $35.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Stiff Arm Hat

    Stiff Arm Hat

    As you can see me doing here, the stiff arm is a move often used by running backs. Other positions can do stiff arms it too. Usually defensive players don't do it much though.
    Regular price
    $35.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Everyday Touchdowns Koozie

    Everyday Touchdowns Koozie

    My Everyday Touchdowns Koozie is made from a top-quality neoprene material. It also features a reminder about what to do with your hot dogs and burgers and other foods, just in case you draw a blank at that crucial pre-mustard moment.
    Regular price
    $7.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • Mouth Ankles Koozie

    Mouth Ankles Koozie

    If your mouth’s ankles have been broken by the smooth and rich taste of Bijan Mustardson, don’t wait! Buy this koozie today. And if your mouth’s ankles haven’t been broken yet, still buy this koozie today anyway.
    Regular price
    $7.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Signature Koozie

    Signature Koozie

    This koozie is meant for a beverage, not a bottle of Bijan Mustardson. Though a bottle of Bijan Mustardson does fit in it. (I tried.) However it’s primarily meant for a beverage. But really go ahead and use it any way you want. Creativity is power.
    Regular price
    $5.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • Stiff Arm Tee

    Stiff Arm Tee

    If someone's ever coming for your mustard, a stiff arm is one way to deter them. Though it also helps if you run away very fast. If I had to choose, I'd recommend doing both.
    Regular price
    $24.99
    Sale price
    $32.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Football Tee

    Football Tee

    Since both the front and back of this shirt are pretty nice, it would be hard to pick just one. But luckily, both the front and back come with every shirt. No hard decisions necessary when purchasing this.
    Regular price
    $32.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Mustard Pennant

    Mustard Pennant

    Being a fan can be really fun. Especially if you’re a fan of a small-batch dijon mustard made by a football running back who also catches the ball very well and is really more of an all-around offensive player who can beat defenses in a lot of different ways. If that sounds like you, this mustard pennant is a fun way to show your fandom.
    Regular price
    $28.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Crop Jersey Tee

    Crop Jersey Tee

    Sometimes I show some midriff on the football field during games. And now you can too! But not on the football field during games. If you tried to go on the field then, you’d probably be chased down by security and escorted out of the stadium.
    Regular price
    $19.99
    Sale price
    $30.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • Video Game Tee

    Video Game Tee

    I wonder what my stiff arm rating would be in a video game. Hopefully the rating committee takes this shirt into account. Seeing as I stiff armed the defender completely off the printable area and all.
    Regular price
    $24.99
    Sale price
    $32.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Bijan No. 5 Gourmet Candle

    Bijan No. 5 Gourmet Candle

    BIJAN No. 5 is in no way affiliated with the luxury fragrance brand that rhymes with SHAMEL, or any of its subsidiaries. If you are one of their legal representatives and wish to take judicial action against Bijan Mustardson, please contact us at madeupemailaddress@bijanmustardson.com and we’ll get back to you within 3 to 5 business years. In the meantime, feel free to purchase this delicious candle and enjoy with your nose.
    Regular price
    From $22.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Mustard Smuggler

    Mustard Smuggler

    Fill with Bijan Mustardson and conceal to the best of your ability when entering stadiums and other condiment-forbidden events.
    Regular price
    $5.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • OU Tee

    OU Tee

    Some things in life are inevitable. Death, taxes, and Texas mustard being far superior to Oklahoma mustard. It’s not Oklahoma mustard’s fault though. Texas mustard is just a lot better tasting and also better at getting in the end zone for touchdowns on the football field. Buy this factually accurate shirt today!
    Regular price
    $25.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Official Draft Party Shirt

    Official Draft Party Shirt

    The Official Shirt from my Official NFL Draft Party. Available only while supplies last. Officially! Unisex. 100% Cotton. 6.5oz.
    Regular price
    $29.99
    Sale price
    $38.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Official Draft Party Stein

    Official Draft Party Stein

    Remember the best 2023 NFL Draft party every time you drink not mustard from this not mustard stein. Limited inventory. Available while supplies last!
    Regular price
    $14.99
    Sale price
    $35.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Official Draft Party Plastic Stein

    Official Draft Party Plastic Stein

    Remember the best 2023 NFL Draft party every time you drink your drink of choice from this commemorative stein. Limited inventory. Available while supplies last!
    Regular price
    $7.99
    Sale price
    $15.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Video Game Kids Tee

    Video Game Kids Tee

    The first step in any young football running back’s journey is to find a role model. Then after you buy a really comfortable, video-game inspired shirt from your role model’s mustard brand’s merch shop, you’ve got to work really hard. Then, you may just become a really good football running back like your role model. Those are the logical steps at least.
    Regular price
    $21.00
    Sale price
    $28.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Cursive Kids Tee

    Cursive Kids Tee

    Writing in cursive is a pretty hard. And it’s even harder when your writing instrument is a bottle of gourmet dijon mustard. So kids, next time you’re learning cursive in school, wear this shirt and be glad you’re writing with a pencil and not a bottle of Bijan Mustardson.
    Regular price
    $21.00
    Sale price
    $28.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Bijan Mustardstickers

    Bijan Mustardstickers

    Unlike Bijan Mustardson, Bijan Mustardstickers come in a pack of 3 and are not edible. Seriously, they’re not delicious at all. Please do not try to eat the stickers. This isn’t a joke. It's a pack of stickers.
    Regular price
    $5.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • More Bijan Mustardstickers

    More Bijan Mustardstickers

    Please refer to the description for Bijan Mustardstickers. It applies to these too.
    Regular price
    $6.50
    Unit price
    /  per 
  • Mouth Touchdown Sticker

    Mouth Touchdown Sticker

    Bijan Mustardson tastes like a touchdown in your mouth. You can find out for yourself by either tasting it, or believing this sticker. Tasting the mustard is good, but believing this sticker is a fine choice as well.
    Regular price
    $2.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
    See more
  • Hot Dog Sticker

    Hot Dog Sticker

    When in doubt, put some Bijan Mustardson on it. And when really in doubt, write out my name in mustard on it. It’ll taste the same, but you’ll get added satisfaction from the penmanship.
    Regular price
    $2.00
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  • MEGAPHONE STICKER

    MEGAPHONE STICKER

    SORRY THIS IS SO LOUD, BUT I'M NOT SURE HOW TO TURN THE VOLUME DOWN ON THIS MEGAPHONE STICKER. IF YOU'RE ABLE TO LOCATE THE VOLUME CONTROLS PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL.
    Regular price
    $2.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
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  • Trading Card Sticker

    Trading Card Sticker

    Some people have said this trading card is a sticker because of its adhesive backing. But it looks like a trading card, and it’s shaped like a trading card, so I tend to think it's a trading card. There's also the possibility that it's something else entirely though.
    Regular price
    $2.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
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  • Mr. Mustardsticker

    Mr. Mustardsticker

    Hey, this is Mr. Mustardsticker. Bijan let me write this myself but I'm not sure exactly what to put. I'm a top-quality sticker though, just not very good at writing.
    Regular price
    $2.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
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  • Football Sticker

    Football Sticker

    People always ask about the icon that says Mustardson. Is it a bratwurst? Or a sausage? Or maybe something else? I can’t legally reveal the answer, but just know that all three of those are very good guesses.
    Regular price
    $2.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
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  • Flag Sticker

    Flag Sticker

    Please note this flag is on a sticker, so it doesn’t flap in the wind as much as a true flag would. If you're looking for a flag that flaps, there are probably better options.
    Regular price
    $2.00
    Unit price
    /  per 
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  • Classic Pennant

    Classic Pennant

    There’s something nostalgic about a classic pennant. It could be the script font, but it could also be something else. Most likely it’s the script font though. That's clearly where the magic is here.
    Regular price
    $25.00
    Unit price
    /  per 

Can I email you when I make new merch?

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